That time I was placed on academic probation…

CCW Spring Retreat ’16

I started my journey of undergraduate work in the Fall of 1998. I was a music education major at Jacksonville University. Music seemed like the one thing I was made to do on this planet. I was excited to start freshman year and have the college experience by living on campus. It wasn’t long, though, that I become disinterested in the academic discipline of music. Going to the practice rooms felt like a cruel chore and eventually, that feeling made going to class in general feel like torture. Maybe it was immaturity, or I just needed a new major. My scholarships were linked to my major so I felt stuck.

By the end of the spring 1999 semester, I heard my advisor say those two scary words: ACADEMIC PROBATION. It wouldn’t be the last time I heard those two words, but the first time was dramatic enough. Probation meant my scholarships were placed on immediate hold. Since I had already taken out a couple of loans, my options were limited as to how I would remain at JU. After it was all said and done, I decided to transfer to UNF – where my undergraduate journey would include many highs and lows (more lows than I am ready to admit) for the next 6 and half years. But on that April day in 1999, I honestly believed my life was over.

This is the moment that every young adult fears: the consequences of your actions being more severe than you realized. Yes, I had issues with JU’s music department, but I knew this was my fault. On the outside, I probably appeared confident and care-free. On the inside, I was reconciling myself to the idea that I had failed at life.

What I needed at that moment was someone to tell me this is not the end. I needed someone to remind me that while these mistakes were significant, they weren’t strong enough to predict my future. I needed someone to reassure me that I could overcome – that I was not the first person to be placed on academic probation or to be forced to transfer because of it. I did NOT need someone to make sure I understood the gravity of my situation – I was already doing a great job of that whether anyone knew it. I needed a unique voice that could speak into my college/young adult experience. I needed a voice of hope that my future was still secure in Jesus; and I found that voice in the guy who was basically my campus minister: Kendall Hunt.

Don’t get me wrong – I have amazing parents who have always cheered me on and they were very supportive throughout my undergraduate journey. I also had strong friendships with other young adults on and off campus. And I had a beautiful church family who continued to create a loving and merciful environment for me. But no one spoke to my life the way Kendall did in that season. Kendall’s job was to pastor college students, and that specific emphasis made his words ring so much louder than all of the others. I got through that season (and a few others) because God sent Kendall to be my college pastor. Years later, Kendall would take me to a leadership conference in Atlanta where he encouraged me to consider pastoring college students alongside my friend (and his future wife) Alison. I don’t think you need a degree to figure out why I told him yes.

I’m starting my 15th year leading ministry to college students this fall. Right now, young adults are driving up to UNF and starting to move in. Others will be heading to Flagler this weekend and JU next week. They are all hoping to have the best experience of their life on campus. But the truth is, some of them will hear messages like “academic probation”, “C grade for the first time”, “you were not accepted into the program” and “the funds have run out.” Friends, I am still in campus ministry because when this happens, I want to be the first person they call. I want to be the voice of hope through the seasons of their college experience.

Some folks think campus ministry is unnecessary – calling it simply “youth group 2.0”. Not only does that diminish the great work of youth leaders, but it also shows a clear misunderstanding of the importance of campus ministry. Ministry to campus students is a unique opportunity where fun and games fill up less than 5% of our time. We are missionaries and counselors who have the grand privilege of loving and leading emerging adults as they figure out where their life is heading. Campus ministry is vital to the continued development of young adults and critical for the future of Jesus’ Church. And I am humbled to work with an amazing team of people as we serve college students on three campuses in Northeast Florida.

Campus to City Wesley Foundation turned 5 in August 2016. As we head into our 6th fall semester, we are stronger and busier than we have ever been. We are convinced that serving college-aged young adults is important for the Church and the world. On Saturday, August 27 we are gonna celebrate all that God has done in the last 5 years and anticipate the miracles that await us in the future. I’ll be reflecting on that April day in 1999 when I thought my life was over and I heard that voice of hope from Kendall. And I’ll be re-committing myself to be that same voice for college-aged young adults for as long as the Lord allows.

5th_Anniversary_Instagram_PostPS Everyone (especially the older than college crowd) is invited to join us for the Anniversary worship night at Mandarin UMC on August 27. For more information, click here.

That time I was placed on academic probation…

Pastoring Millennials

This moment is all too familiar to local pastors: you are standing in front of the congregation, giving your best sermon and you look out to see that millennial in the pews. Someone’s daughter home for the summer or someone’s grandson who came to church as a birthday gift. You can tell by their body language & their facial expression that they would rather be anywhere else but there. This moment frustrates some leaders and discourages others. The disengaged millennial gets under your skin because you really want to reach them. You’re the kind of leader that wants to make space for them in the church. How are you supposed to do that when you can’t get them to simply raise their eyebrows during your message? Some keep trying to reach them (and I applaud you for that). Others just give up (and I get you too).

Hoping that the following words may help.

There are many reasons why millennials aren’t listening to older-generation leaders. It’s a decent sized list that includes irrelevance, judgmental rhetoric and condescension. There are many blogs and articles out there; google millennials and you’ll find them. I would like to offer one more that I think gets overlooked. It’s less an action and more of an assumption. It is the assumption of trust.

Once upon a time, a leader could assume that their congregation trusted them. Their education, their ordination or even their track record was all that was needed to win the attribute ‘trustworthy’. It isn’t that way anymore, and it definitely isn’t that way when it comes to millennials.

For this generation, trust is not an entitlement – it is earned. That might be a shock to some of you because you were raised to respect your leaders and take their word for it. And yet, in our own country we have a crisis of leadership and its root is trust. From classrooms to Congress, our leaders have made too light of the trust we placed in them. They can no longer assume that 20 years of experience or political incumbency is enough.

I can tell when a pastor is walking into the pulpit assuming that we trust them – and they will be wrong every time.  If pastors want millennials to listen, they are gonna have to do the hard work of cultivating their trust. You can waste time complaining about adding this to your long list of pastoral demands, or you can reconcile your heart and mind to reality: if you want millennials to trust you, you’re gonna have to earn it. But wait, there’s more!

Earning trust is not like getting a degree. There isn’t a certain number of meetings or kind words or likes on Facebook that give you long-term trust. With millennials, you earn trust everyday. Yes, every time you step into the pulpit, you have to earn it all over again. Granted, it gets easier when you are consistent. Trust with this age group is fragile and short-lived. You can spend time trying to figure out why this is case and who is to blame, and (in my opinion) you’ll be wasting valuable time doing that. With millennials, you are always earning the right to speak into their lives and point them in the right direction. And here me on this – millennials want to be led. But they also need to know that you genuinely want to lead them. The only way that message is heard is by earning their trust, little by little, every time you see them.

As a campus minister, this is my life. Every message, every one-on-one meeting, every weekend trip is an opportunity for me to earn the chance of pastoring college students. It’s hard work and it comes with a lot of listening, responding, more listening, serving, a little more listening, absorbing pain, some more listening and a few humble apologies. These students owe me nothing and I owe them everything. They do not have to listen to me, they do not have to follow me – but I am obligated to pour my life out for them regardless. After 5 years of CCW, I think it’s working. And guess what, I’ll spend the next 5 years earning their trust. I believe it to my bones that this is the most effective mindset for pastoring millennials.

So if you have read this far, you may be asking ‘how do I build trust with millennials?’ And I’ll respond with two points. One is not so charitable, and the other is more practical.

1. Really? Have we devolved this much as a culture that we no longer know the basic steps of building trust? Have we become so entitled to it that we view it as a transaction where I give you 30 minutes of a coffee chat for 5oz of your trust? Forgive my anger, but come on people! Trust is not a commodity to be purchased.

2. How do we build trust with millennials? It looks like listening. It sounds like honoring their journey and it feels like humility. It grows by asking for permission to speak into their life and remaining open to hearing their opinions without judgment. It becomes consistent when you thank them for the pleasure of knowing them and make genuine efforts to support them.

I’ve directed these thoughts at pastors, but it easily applies to all leaders of millennials – even parents of adult millennials. And let’s get real honest now – it’s not just millennials whose trust has to be earned right? I’m not sure why we played the game so long in church. I cannot figure out why we let decades go by letting the pastors (and other leaders) assume that simply showing up was enough to garner our trust. We are a society that longs to be led, and yet find so few leaders willing to prove they’ll treat our trust as more precious than their title. Regardless, today is the day to start afresh. So the next time you look at those seemingly disengaged millennials, ask the Holy Spirit to give you the courage and compassion to humbly offer yourself to them by earning their trust. You never know friends – doing this could make a positive change in a millennial’s life.

Pastoring Millennials

Lessons of the Year #3: Leadership Matters

Sorry for the delay. The problem was more technical, but I apologize. I said Lesson #3 would post yesterday and that was as good as a promise. Keeping your promises matter…which is a great lead in to lesson #3.

It became clear that the lessons of being limited and needing to grow up were not isolated. My need to realize my limitations and be faithful with my body was deeply connected to my purpose in this life. Likewise, moving on to maturity and embracing my age was also a part of my call into ministry. As the Director of CCW, I have been given the amazing opportunity to participate in the lives of college-aged young adults. It would be wrong for me to take this role lightly as the late-teens/early 20s stage of life is arguably the most significant for an adult. With great privilege comes great responsibility. The third lesson was one I already knew: leadership matters. This work is too important not to take it seriously. But in light of the other two lessons, the third one now means a whole lot more.

It seems that we now hear of a leader who has fallen from their pedestal every few months or so. It is especially tough when we have trusted someone, near or far, and given them a great deal of power and affluence only to find out that they have led in unwise, even corrupt ways. When the news gets out, those that lean more merciful respond with ‘well, everyone makes mistakes’ or ‘they are only human’, or ‘they were under so much pressure’. No matter how we may try to rationalize the acts of the fallen leader, the damage has been done. The Penn State scandal is just one more case of normal people, with a ton of influence, making the wrong decisions for fear of losing it all. It is a tragedy.

Unfortunately, these scandals are nothing new. History records many men and women over the centuries who have misused their power and only thought of their own interests. The result is that some are so afraid of the ‘all powerful leader’ that they have embraced ‘leadership by committee’. I am not sure if the latter is a good replacement. At the end of the day, all of us tend to look to a person, not a committee, for the way forward. From the ancient scriptures to last week’s editorials, we all tend to look for one woman or man who will take responsibility for more than themselves and lead us all to a better future. Leadership matters.

As I said in lesson #2, there are hundreds of next gens depending on me to be a leader worth following. This realization is not something that I should begrudge or complain about…it is a high privilege. Yes, I am human. Yes, I make mistakes, Yes, the last year has been the most challenging of my life so far. But it is my role, and people are depending on me to be faithful…not in place of their dependence on God, but because of it. If it is true that God is the One who ultimately gave me this leadership opportunity, then my response to His sovereignty is directly linked to how seriously I embrace this role. God knows that human beings need leadership, so He has gifted us with men and women so that we may be led to growth and maturity in Him. Again, leadership matters and I cannot treat my calling as a small thing.

I am called to a higher standard of behavior. I am expected to handle the circumstances of life with extra grace. When it comes to my health or personal growth, it is a part of my call to be a couple of steps ahead. None of this speaks to me being better than anyone else. But it does speak to me being a leader. My leadership matters, and I always knew that. But after my first year with CCW, I have never been more aware of how important it is for me to know this and live by this.

Whether you are a parent, pastor, employer  or professor, our leadership roles have never been more significant. People are depending on us to do more than make great speeches and do great work. They are depending on us to be great people…leaders worth following in every way. God knows we are human and prone to mistakes. He also knows that with Him, we are capable of being more than we ever knew we could be. Leadership, at every level, matters more than we will ever know.

Lessons of the Year #3: Leadership Matters

Assertive Leadership

In the last couple of months, I have been leading worship for the Unchained youth ministry at CrossRoad. This is after a 5 year hiatus from the youth band. It is a pretty cool experience to work with young musicians. It is also a great opportunity to hang with one of my best friends in life, Bruce Carder, who leads the youth band. We’ve had some pretty strong nights in the last couple of weeks. And there is nothing like watching a group of teenagers visibly open up to God and sing their songs to Jesus. In the coming weeks, I will be holding auditions and raising up a brand new crop of young worship leaders. So excited about where things will go from here.

With over 15 years of worship leading experience, I am still learning how to do it. Leading worship for youth is like no other worship environment. Keeping them engaged in the moment may be one of the most challenging tasks. Their hearts are definitely there, but their attention spans can be tiny. Each week, I have to work hard at finding the balance in keeping it light and accessible to all of the teenagers while having a good amount of depth and focus. Sometimes, I have to deliberately call for everyone’s attention. With my personality, I can only hold the assertive face for so long. I’ll spend a few seconds quieting the crowd only to make a joke a minute later. Nevertheless, part of the job of worship leading in youth (and maybe in general) is being assertive.

I was reflecting on all of this and began to think about the massive amount of leadership talks and seminars I have sat through over the years. I have heard it said often that true leaders take people in the direction of a preferred future. To do this, the leader must be intentional about leading decisively. This kind of leadership is critical especially when the people being led do not want to go where the leader is going. I have watched this happen several times. I am currently watching it happen in a number of churches, but also in our government and in a few families as well. How does a person lead with assertiveness and decisiveness without it becoming aggressive and overbearing. I think the key is commitment to the people.

No one wants to feel like they are expendable. Leaders and followers alike want to make their lives count. We all want to know that we matter beyond the work that we do. The challenge for leaders is that we are so razor-focused on the vision ahead that we forget to communicate just how much we care for the people around us. As a leader, I have found that the words I mean the most (“I love you, I am thankful for you, I am here for you, I count it a privilege to be on the journey with you”) are said the least. But when people know you care about them more than the destination, they will follow you anywhere.

I am praying for this kind of grounding in my leadership…particularly at youth. I do not simply want to have their attention as I ramble on about the importance of worship. I want them to focus so that they will find the satisfaction of their souls —  Jesus. I am praying that as I lead worship on Sunday nights, my commitment to the kids, not just to the worship set and crowd control, would be more evident. Still not completely sure how to do that, but I am looking forward to figuring it out. I love those kids more than any mystical worship moment. And Jesus loves them more than I ever will.

Assertive Leadership

What I want in a President

Inauguration of President Barack Obama
Image by sneakerdog via Flickr

For about a week I have been receiving calls from a random DC number. I have missed every call, but never get a voicemail. The other day, in route to a meeting, I received the call again. I answered this time only to find the person on the other end to be an automated message. I was being polled by some political organization on what I wanted in a president. Obviously, these folks weren’t fans of Barack Obama.

At first, I wanted to hang up…I don’t really have time for these interruptions and they kind of annoy me. But for whatever reason, I decided to entertain this one. As the poll began, I was asked to choose the issue that was most important to me by pressing the corresponding number. I listened to what would be 9 options, hoping that one of them would be ‘other’ and I could respond directly. After the ninth option there was a long pause. The recording proceeded to repeat itself. At that point, I angrily hung up the phone. Here is why.

I am angry that my vote has been reduced to issues…one at that. Issues are important. But I do not want a presidential nominee who simply regurgitates someone else’s prescribed talking points. I do not want a man or woman who simply says the thing that everyone in his/her party wants to hear. I want a LEADER! Yeah, that’s what I want in a president…a leader with a vision for the country that includes all of the issues, but more so, a dream and desire to lead our nation towards a greater future. I do not want a talking head with a teleprompter. I want to vote for someone who has a deep desire to serve the people of the United States by providing strong, compassionate and determined leadership.

I understand why leadership was not an option during that poll call. If we elect a leader to be the POTUS, the rest of us (congress included) would by definition be followers. And that is one thing that most elected officials in our day would rather not have in my opinion. God bless our nation.

What I want in a President